Looking for a gift for your children that won't cost a dime but is sure to produce impressive returns? Empower them to connect with people, says Maribeth Kuzmeski, author of The Engaging Child: Raising Children to Speak, Write, and Have Relationship Skills Beyond Technology.
"Too often, we don't put our children into situations where they have to speak and interact because it's uncomfortable for them," Kuzmeski says. But connection skills "are just as important as math and science and reading and writing."
The marketing consultant wrote about business interactions in her 2009 book, The Connectors, and "I heard from many adults who said, 'I need a book like this for my kids.'"
In the new book, Kuzmeski's daughter, Lizzie, 17, provides a teen's perspective. Here, the two share advice.
Q: Maribeth, you say a good place to begin is to have kids "unplug" from electronic devices at holiday events.
Maribeth: I've broken up parties in my house where six or eight kids are texting people standing in the same room with them. I've said, "Let's play ping-pong. Let's do something." Unplugging for a while is really important. Say to everyone: "Let's put it down for a couple of hours tonight. I know it may seem uncomfortable at first, but being distracted by phones and texting is rude to the other people around us."
Lizzie: Teenagers fall into the trap of using their phones all the time because if I don't know how to answer your question, I can take a few minutes to think about it.
Q: Where do you teach your kids?
Maribeth: When I go out to lunch with my 15-year-old son, I'll make him figure out the tip, pay it out of his own pocket, and thank the waitress for the service provided. When shopping with Lizzie, I like to give her the opportunity to take the lead, whether it's asking for directions or engaging the salesperson to make a return. I remember having to convince her that she could handle it.
Lizzie: There are still some things you like your parents to do for you, and I guess that was one. The more practice you have, the more comfortable you get.
Maribeth: For a young person ordering pizza over the phone the first few times, it's a big deal. Calling the hotel front desk and asking for extra towels is a big step.
Q: What about younger children?
Maribeth: The importance of using good manners and expressing gratitude are two areas you can reinforce and practice, especially this time of the year. Ask your child, "What are you going to do when Aunt Suzy gives you a gift?" Give them guidelines about expressing gratitude. It's about building habits.
To see more of USAToday.com, or to subscribe, go to http://www.usatoday.com
Copyright 2011 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Co. Inc.