Aug. 24--Cereal bowl confrontations. Brown bag battles. Dinner table disputes. Sound familiar?
For parents who want their kids to eat healthfully, mealtimes can become prolonged skirmishes, more about conflict than togetherness. That's no fun for anybody. So we asked some experts -- dietitians and pediatricians -- for tactics parents can use to win the nutrition wars on the home front. Think of it as a back-to-school lesson for adults.
Everything starts, says Dr. R. Scott Spies, a pediatrician at the Matthews Children's Clinic, with parents. "You can't expect your children to do what you are not doing yourself."
So let's review. A healthy meal, according to the new federal food plate unveiled earlier this year, includes lean proteins, complex carbohydrates such as brown rice or whole wheat pasta, dairy and lots of fruits and vegetables. (For more information, go to choosemyplate.gov. )
Once the parents set an example, the experts agree, the next step is to provide good food and teach their children about what is healthful and what is not. Parents can encourage children to eat well and try new foods by involving them. Take a hands-on approach: Let children pick out fruits and vegetables at the grocery store or the farmers market. Prepare a meal together. Or plant a vegetable garden.
"There's nothing like growing your own tomatoes to make you eat tomatoes," says Dr. Cheryl Mutch, co-author of the new book, "Good Food to Go: Healthy Lunches Your Kids Will Love."
Teach children that sweets or junk foods are occasional treats, not everyday fare. Send desserts only once or twice a week with lunch. Encourage children to make chocolate milk a special drink and enjoy it occasionally.
Even parents who do all that, experts say, need to realize that they can't force their children to eat. "It's our job to provide the healthy food and explain about healthy food, but it's the child's responsibility to eat it," said Karen Varga, a dietitian at WakeMed Health and Hospitals in Raleigh.
Several experts suggested setting food out family-style and letting children choose what they want to eat from what's offered. They also recommend that parents make tasting new items a family rule. It can take up to 10 attempts before a child will adopt a new food.
And don't panic.
"If they don't eat the family meal, they will get hungry later and that's OK," says Dr. Eliana Perrin, a pediatrician at N.C. Children's Hospital in Chapel Hill.
When faced with picky or stubborn eaters, parents shouldn't get angry, anxious or coercive.
"You may be anxious about what your children are eating or are not eating," Mutch says. "You have to not express that to the child. ... It sets you up for unpleasant dinner experiences."
If kids won't eat what's set before them, the doctors and dietitians say, cover the plate of uneaten food with plastic wrap, put it in the fridge and pull it out the next time the child eats. Eventually, even stubborn kids will learn to eat what is offered.
Most of all, don't become a short order cook. Offer healthy food, and stick to your guns. Don't offer anything else, especially processed food that children may prefer or crave.
And remember, Spies says: "Who is in control of the ship here?"
andrea.weigl@newsobserver.com or 919-829-4848
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