WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. -- I get one of five responses when I tell
people I am mentally ill:
1. The nervous laugh.
2. The weather report.
3. Been there/done that.
4. Deer in the headlights.
5. So what?
If I simply say I have alcoholism, depression or bipolar
disorder, I get a much different response than if I say, "I am
mentally ill." The words "mentally ill" freak out some people.
I respect all the responses I get. Mental illnesses are so
stigmatized that I don't think it is fair to blame people for
biases many don't even know they have. What they do after that is
where stigma is born. And I can't control that either.
The best I can do is be open -- because I can without worrying
about losing my job and friends -- and be myself. Go ahead, ask me
questions. If I can answer, I will.
I don't encourage other people with mental illnesses to do this.
Being open has worked for me. But it may not work for you.
You may lose your job, friends and any hope of getting health
insurance. People will talk behind your back, and sometimes in
front of your back. You will get raised eyebrows whenever you get a
little too excited or stare off into space with a sad face. Dating
takes on all kinds of new challenges -- as if there are not enough
already.
Think long and hard about it. Realize that a decision to
confidentially tell only a select few close friends may end up
being broadcast throughout your network. It happens. You can't put
this genie back in the bottle.
But know, too, that you will run into folks who will give you a
"so what?" As time goes on, you will get more and more "so
what's?" Eventually you will have gotten so many "so what's?"
that you will be like a deer in the headlights when you run into
the deer in the headlights who is startled by your admission that
you are mentally ill.
And you will walk away thinking, "so what?"
Christine Stapleton writes for The Palm Beach Post. E-mail:
christine(underscore)stapleton@pbpost.com. Visit
www.christinestapleton.com for more information on how to order
Stapleton's book, "Hoping for a happy ending: A journalist's story
of depression, bipolar and alcoholism."
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