Aug. 17--Life has changed dramatically over the past few weeks for Beaufort City Councilman Mike Sutton and his wife, Nan, who now are full-time caregivers to an 80-year-old man with Alzheimer's disease.
Mike said he first realized something was wrong with his father, Bob, when he visited him in Georgia about five years ago and his cable was turned off. When he asked his father about the cable, he said it just stopped working one day. Then Mike realized his father had not paid the cable bill, along with several other bills.
For several years Mike drove to Georgia every weekend to check on his father and help him with household chores. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that things had gotten bad enough to require full-time care for Bob. When Mike realized some of his father's neighbors were taking advantage of his generous heart and using him for money, he knew it was time to bring him home to Beaufort.
"At this point it's pretty overwhelming," Mike said. "The amount of time it takes to watch somebody like that is just more than I think most people can probably imagine."
Mike said his father needs constant attention and wants to be doing something every minute of the day. Mike and Nan have been trying to keep Bob busy with puzzles, card games, crabbing when he's feeling up to it and mostly just driving him around town.
It's not easy. Mike said the most difficult parts of dealing with his father's Alzheimer's disease are having to repeat himself and providing constanct care.
A TEAM EFFORT
The Suttons aren't alone. Alzheimer's is the seventh-leading cause of death in the United States, and an estimated 5.3 million Americans suffer from the disease that destroys brain cells and causes memory loss.
But help is available. Mike and Nan credit Alzheimer's Family Services of Greater Beaufort for getting them through the transition with Bob.
A nonprofit agency of the United Way of the Lowcountry, Alzheimer's Family Services offers a variety of services to families dealing with the disease. The group serves about
50 families in the area, providing services that include a social day program, in-home respite care and support groups. While anyone with Alzheimer's is welcome to attend the social day program and support groups, in-home respite care is only offered to those in the greater Beaufort area for logistical reasons.
Bob attends the social day program a few times a week, which Nan and Mike both said has been a godsend. The program not only gives caregivers a break but also provides a therapeutic atmosphere for those suffering from the disease.
"It's clear to me it requires a team to get through this," Mike said. "You can't do this by yourself."
Alzheimer's Family Services executive director Arlene Hull said the group is funded through grants, fundraisers and minimal program fees. United Way is one of the group's major funding sources, but grants were cut this year because of the ailing economy, and the Alzheimer's group is suffering.
Hull said they don't want to turn anyone away, but they need the community's help to keep the programs going. So she is asking the public for donations. She and her team recently sent out letters to more than 300 people in Beaufort and beyond as part of a fund drive.
"Everybody probably knows somebody that's affected by Alzheimer's -- whether it's as a caregiver or as a victim," Hull said. "So we're just appealing to those people to help us to better be able to help our clients."
SEEKING SUPPORT
While Alzheimer's is new to the Sutton family, it's been a part of another Beaufort couple's lives for several years.
Jacki Davidson said her husband, Bob, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2003 but probably had the disease long before then.
Her life revolves around caring for Bob. She is constantly observing his behavior, responding to his needs and planning for the future, she said.
"When we got married and we were planning retirement, Alzheimer's was not on our list," Jacki said. "We had places to go, people to see, things to do."
She said until the end of 2009 they still were able to do some of that, but this year her husband, a retired pilot, has reached another plateau in the disease and they are not able to get out much. The 79-year-old now is in a wheelchair.
Jacki takes advantage of the respite aids Alzheimer's Family Services offers. The workers come to the Davidson home twice a day -- once in the morning to get Bob out of bed and ready for the day and again in the evening.
"Without that, I don't know what I would do," Jacki said.
Jacki said the caregiver support group also has been a big help. She goes to meetings once a month, where she connects with others who are dealing with similar situations.
"It's a family," she said. "One of the things Alzheimer's Family Services projects is to let us know that we're not alone, and it's not just through the program but through the other caregivers."
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