WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. -- I just watched two episodes of a
television show called "Intervention," and if I was not sitting
in front of this computer right now I would be watching the program
that comes on after "Intervention," called "Obsessed," about
people with obsessive-compulsive and anxiety disorders.
I am trying to figure out how I feel about these programs and
why I am drawn to them. Is A&E, the network that produces these
shows, exploiting the poor souls who suffer from these mental
illnesses? Is this the latest fad in reality TV? Am I just a vapid
voyeur, using this program to prop my ego? "At least I wasn't that
bad." Or do I watch to get a dose of "But for the grace of God"?
I think I like these programs because they dispel the myth that
we addicts/alcoholics/mentally ill are the spawn of equally
addicted/alcoholic/mentally ill parents who have matted hair,
greasy clothes and live in dilapidated tenements.
The producers of these shows have done a brilliant job of
juxtaposing the current, horrendous lives of the
addicts/alcoholics/mentally ill with their roots -- homes with
Christmas trees, family camping trips, Little League baseball and
home-cooked meals.
Mental illness does not exist in a vacuum. It exists in
families. "Intervention" allows those families to exhale. Every
family makes mistakes. Good intentions often are not enough. And
one family member's illness can beget another's.
For some families on the program, knowledge of the illness
brings empathy and forgiveness. For others it is easier to accept
stigma as truth than to try to understand why a loved one can't do
something that seems so impossibly easy, like getting up and going
to work, or quitting after two beers. What you call "choice," we
addicts call "compulsion."
There are some happy endings on "Intervention." Some get clean
and sober, their depression lifts and their thoughts stop racing.
But just like any progressive illness, some do not make it.
Perhaps the most valuable lesson for family members is that we
do not drink and drug at you, we drink and drug despite you -- and
your love, worry and prayers. We are painfully aware of your pain.
The self-loathing that evolves from endlessly tormenting you drives
us into the deepest depression imaginable. Standing in your shoes
is excruciating.
Knowing, though, that through "Intervention" you can stand in
mine gives me hope that you will understand. I am grateful for this
opportunity -- and grateful that the program is only an hour long.
Christine Stapleton writes for The Palm Beach Post. E-mail:
christine(underscore)stapleton@pbpost.com. To read previous
columns, go to PalmBeachPost.com/depression
c.2009 Cox Newspapers