Apr. 23--Kirk Bailey's financial adviser wanted to know his life goals.
The Tulsan had several, like taking care of his wife and two children, saving enough for retirement and, of course, staying healthy.
The plan, circa 2005, seemed solid. After all, Bailey ran marathons, ate right and didn't drink or smoke. But two years later, his plan skittered off the adviser's desk when Bailey was diagnosed.
Breaking the silence
About one man in six will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during his lifetime, according to the American Cancer Society. One in 35 will die of it.
Statistics, however, can't account for all the men who, as Bailey said, "don't like to talk about" prostate cancer.
"Unfortunately for a lot of them, it's kind of a private thing," he said. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about, but I think a lot of guys are embarrassed by admitting they have prostate cancer."
So Bailey has made an effort to reach out to about a half dozen men, who were diagnosed. For instance, Steve Poleman, who is in the insurance industry with Bailey.
"Kirk was one of my confidantes and sounding boards," said the 53-year-old Poleman, who was diagnosed last year. "He's a great man."
Bailey also advocates a heart-healthy diet, exercise and early-testing, beginning in the mid-40s.
"The traditional (testing age) is 50," Bailey said. "That may be too late."
To convey prostate cancer's varied effects on one Tulsan, Bailey tells his own story.
One
man's journey "Wow. What does this mean? What treatment do I do?" Bailey remembers thinking after he received his diagnosis in the summer of 2007. They were good questions, but in the process of answering them, Bailey discovered several treatment protocols.
Treatments ranged from blasting his moderately aggressive cancer with radiation to a radical prostatectomy, which removes the prostate entirely.
What's a man to do? Bailey didn't know.
"What's difficult about prostate cancer is there is no right treatment," he explained. "It is very hard. And even with doctors, there's not agreement on the best treatment method."
All those options left Bailey turning to about a dozen prostate cancer survivors.
"Tell me about your journey," he asked each of them.
A big deal
Their stories ranged from successful to nightmarish. Two common side effects of prostate cancer treatment are incontinency and impotency, Bailey learned.
Eventually, he found his way to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, where he met with a pioneer of prostate cancer therapy -- the man who penned "Dr. Patrick Walsh's Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer." (These days, Bailey gives that book to each prostate-cancer patient he meets.)
After meeting with Walsh, and reading his book, Bailey opted for a radical prostatectomy in October 2007. It was a success, he said, but there were side effects both physical and mental.
"I went through some emotional stuff," he said. "I was mad. I was frustrated at just the process of having to get treated, the treatment itself and healing from it."
Actually, it bothers Bailey when some people underestimate the effects of a radical prostatectomy.
"They're kind of dismissive," he said, "like it's no big deal." But it is.
Running for his life
Six weeks after the procedure, Bailey found an emotional and physical release in his first post-surgery run.
"For me, it was a statement to myself that I'm going to get back," he said. "This is a just a speed-bump."
As he ran back to normal life, Bailey ran a half-marathon in St. Louis, then the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon Relay in April 2008. For the latter, Bailey signed up with two fellow cancer survivors, Robin Almendares and Ron Winn, who survived melanoma and bladder cancer, respectively. Together, they were three examples of cancer survival in motion. Bailey wore his yellow "Live Strong" T-shirt.
This weekend, Bailey returns to Oklahoma City for the half-marathon.
"It's about celebrating life, surviving and celebrating the life you've been given," he said of the race, "and honoring those who lost their life to tragic events."
Looking back on his journey with prostate cancer, Bailey drew a comparison to running.
"It's really a matter of keeping focused on your ultimate goal," he said, "which is to finish the race."
For more
Prostate cancer patients interested in contacting Kirk Bailey can e-mail him at kirk.pca@gmail.com.
Matt Gleason 581-8473 matt.gleason@tulsaworld.com
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