Feb. 22--Financial problems are said to be at the heart of most divorce. But even with the economy in a downward spiral, a divorcing couple's dwindling bank account may not be its only -- or even largest -- problem.
When a marriage breaks apart, the couple's children may fall apart, too -- academically, socially and emotionally -- health officials say.
Divorce provided a subtext in the recent debate over Proposition 8, the same-sex marriage initiative. While the campaign stressed the importance of preserving heterosexual marriages, it was not in the context of preventing di vorce, only in pre- venting gays from entering wedlock.
And, while instituting more legal barriers to divorce seems unlikely in California, with its liberalized statutes, the fate of
children caught in a marriage's breakup remains below the surface.
"Divorce is a horrible thing. It does have severe consequences for children," said Frank Schubert, spokesman for the ProtectMarriage.com campaign.
The Protect Marriage campaign argued that allowing same-sex marriage would hurt children because they need a parent of each sex, not two of the same sex, in order to grow up successfully.
Federal agencies could not provide data related to how many children come from homes with same-sex parents.
"It's not to say that homosexuals can't be parents. It's simply to say the best situation, which is what laws are supposed to be about, is to have a married mother and father," Schubert
said.
Schubert said even though divorce is prevalent and destructive, it's also important to focus on preserving the traditional definition of marriage.
But Christine Carter, executive director of the Greater Good Science Center through University of California at Berkeley, said the parents' gender does not matter as long as children have stability and lots of love and support.
Carter said divorce can introduce many negative changes in children's lives, from wherethe children live to where they go to school.
If parents can be civil and preserve a sense of normalcy through a divorce, children are likely to be more successful in school and emotionally, Carter said.
For decades, California divorce laws have been relaxed so couples need cite only "irreconcilable differences" to end a marriage.
That troubles some people, particularly as it relates to children.
Divorce has become too easy to attain, Yvonne Fawson, 58, of Fairfield said.
"Children are devastated," said Fawson, a mother of four who has been married nearly 38 years.
Fawson said she thinks divorce has become too accepted in society for there to be any successful campaign waged against it, such as Proposition 8.
The acceptance of divorce by many people goes along with a growing sense of moral relativism in society that has destroyed the meaning of marriage and values, Fawson said.
But, she added, in arguing against gay marriages, no matter what feminists say, mothers and fathers serve different roles in children's lives and that's why children need to have both as they grow up.
Carter countered that children need routines and "secure attachments" -- adults in their lives who provide love and support. It doesn't matter what gender those adults are or whether they have biological ties, she said.
Carter said her center provides information for parents to help them be the type of "secure attachments" children need to develop.
For more information, visit http://greatergood.berkeley.edu
Email Shauntel Lowe at slowe@thnewsnet.com or call 707-553-6835.
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