Aug. 24--LONG BEACH -- Suzanne Caves took a devastating loss in her life and used it as a way to help others.
When her son Michael died of AIDS in 1986, the Long Beach mother abandoned her career as a successful real estate agent and dedicated her life to helping those with AIDS.
Caves died Friday morning at Long Beach Memorial Medical Center after battling a lung infection. She was 81.
While many were cringing in fear during the early years of the AIDS epidemic, Caves was in the forefront, fighting for more education and understanding.
Following her son's death, she founded a nonprofit organization called Families Who Care, designed to support families of people living with AIDS.
But Caves didn't stop there.
She went to work as assistant director of Long Beach AIDS Network, served as one of the founders and chairperson of Long Beach AIDS Walk, founded the Long Beach Chapter of the Names Project, served as vice president and president of the Long Beach HIV Planning Commission, helped expand the Meals On Wheels program to include people with AIDS and even spoke at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.
"My mother hated to see the discrimination," said her daughter, Kelly Caves. "She believed in loving everyone unconditionally. She had a very different perspective of the world in general."
Caves was especially instrumental in bringing families together. She counseled parents of children with AIDS and would sometimes even call parents
personally to tell them their son or daughter was infected with the virus.
"Teaching to live again is difficult," Suzanne Caves told the Press-Telegram in 1997. "So many of them have lost their jobs, their friends, and even their families have abandoned them. Yes, the medication is improving their physical health, but many times it's the feeling of isolation that prevents them from feeling better."
Signal Hill City Councilman Larry Forester, a longtime friend, referred to Caves as the "godmother of those living with HIV and AIDS."
"She took care of so many people who didn't have someone to take care of them," he said. "She was just phenomenal."
As people with HIV and AIDS started living longer, Caves in the mid-'90 s founded the Michael Caves Day Activity Center in Long Beach as a place for classes in the arts.
The center and Families Who Care have since closed, but Kelly Caves said her mother's legacy lives on.
"My mother added a legitimacy and a kindness and compassion to the entire epidemic," she said.
"She took the adversity and made lemonade out of the lemons," said a friend, Louise Cunningham. "She lived with integrity, and not everybody can say that."
Suzanne Caves was honored last year as an icon by the Long Beach Gay and Lesbian Center.
Born in Seattle on March 27, 1927, Caves moved to Belmont Shore as a young child. After graduating Wilson High School, she attended the University of Washington, where she met her husband, John.
The couple lived in Northridge for a number of years, and Caves eventually moved back to Long Beach in 1972. In her later years, Caves moved to Signal Hill, where she became involved in Friends of Signal Hill Cultural Arts. Rancho Los Cerritos, where she worked as a docent until about two years ago, was another passion.
"She was unbelievable at motivating people and creating awareness," her daughter said. "If she felt passionate about something, she made things happen."
Caves is survived by her sons, Robert and Casey, daughter Kelly, her brother Clegg Crawford, daughters-in-law Sandy and Annette, and seven grandchildren -- Sarah, Lauren, Michael, Elise, Katie, Dylan and Keegan. She is preceded in death by son Michael Caves.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to Friends of Rancho Los Cerritos, 4600 Virginia Rd., Long Beach, CA 90807. A memorial service is tentatively planned for Sept. 6. The Press-Telegram will print more information on the service when it becomes available.
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