Dave Sklar loved Fourth of July fireworks so much, his wife joked he was a "pyro."
Last July 1, the Pierce County couple planned to buy their usual $200 or more cache of rockets, mortars and fountains to set off near their home in Graham.
They never made it. Sklar swallowed a bottle of painkillers that day, ending a life plagued by depression so severe that he holed up in the garage, interpreted innocent comments as attacks and balked at attending their son's 3rd birthday party.
"I felt alone. No one understood," said his widow, Christine Lopez, 48, an account manager for a commercial insurance brokerage in Seattle.
"(People said), 'He chose to die. Why are you sad?' It's not that he wanted to die. It's a subject that needs to be brought out in the open. Not just suicide, but the depression leading up to it."
On Saturday in Seattle, Lopez will honor her husband by walking 18 miles from sunset to sunrise to raise money and awareness for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
The nonprofit organization hopes its Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk will attract 1,000 participants and raise more than $1 million, with part of the proceeds earmarked to create a Seattle chapter.
"People have not traditionally recognized suicide as a national health problem," said Robert Gebbia, executive director of the New York-based foundation. "It's been held in secrecy. Part of it is the stigma, the shame. We have to start talking about this."
Many in society believe that depression is "not real and that people should 'pull it together.' They can't. That's why they need help," he said.
Research shows that 24 million Americans suffer from depression or mood disorder and that nearly 1 million attempt suicide each year, with more than 32,000 succeeding.
In Washington, the annual number of suicides has hovered around 800 in recent years, with a high of 823 in 2004, according to state Department of Health statistics.
In 2006, nearly 200 people ages 45 to 54 killed themselves in Washington, the most of any age group. The number of suicides descended by age that year, with 39 deaths among 15- to19-year-olds.
The death of a younger person to cancer often triggers efforts to raise money and awareness for research, but "more (younger) people die of suicide than cancer by far," said Dr. Greg Simon, a psychiatrist and researcher at Group Health Cooperative. "It's just not something that people talk about."
Lopez said that her husband, who worked in construction before suffering a debilitating back injury in vehicle accident, battled depression since his late teens. He felt like the world was closing in on him.
Sklar underwent treatment on and off, quitting when he felt he was "cured" or when a psychologist "pushed his buttons."
One week before his death, Lopez sensed her husband was in pain. She asked what was wrong.
"Nothing that a well-placed shotgun blast wouldn't cure," Sklar replied.
Though taken aback, Lopez said she regarded that comment in the same vein as someone saying he wants to chop off his head to ease a splitting headache.
On the day he died, Sklar gulped 120 tablets of Demerol, each 50 milligrams, that were prescribed for his back pain.
After his death, Lopez sought information about suicide research. She plunged into depression, quit taking her medication for high blood pressure and drove recklessly without wearing a seatbelt.
"I was down there. It scared the heck out of me," she said.
She has since sought counseling and has been on anti-depressants. The couple's 4-year-old son, Trevor, received grief counseling.
Lopez learned about the walk and registered at the foundation's Web site. When she met her goal of $1,500 -- each participant must raise at least $1,000 -- gold stars flashed on the computer screen.
Seeing that, "Trevor said, 'Does that mean Daddy's coming back now?' " Lopez said. "That was really hard."
Kingston resident Kelly Clark, who also plans to participate in the walk, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 16.
"I had very high highs and very low lows, even at a young age," said Clark, 23, a legal assistant in Seattle. "I've gotten better at recognizing my symptoms. Usually it takes friends or family members to say, 'You're going too fast' or 'You're in a slump.' "
Four months ago, she tried to overdose on her medications because of a "serious lack of control over where I thought my life was headed," Clark said.
A move home to her parents, a change in medications, counseling, new and renewed friendships and a new job have Clark "seeing good in life for the first time" in a long time, she said.
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