WOW! WHAT A game. Even two days later, don't you just want to talk about it, analyze it and gloat about how the Giants denied the arrogant Patriots and their corrupt and grumpy coach a perfect season and a Super Bowl victory?
But of course you do, you are a sports fan.
At some point, however, you might hear this in response: "I don't care. I don't follow sports."
It's usually said with a sniff over an upturned chin, the import of which is to indicate some sort of superiority.
If you're feeling subversive, you might want to counter with something like this: "Gosh, then you should be vigilant against myriad potential perils. People who don't like sports are more likely to be fat, stupid, depressed and lazy than people who do like sports."
Look concerned when you say it.
When challenged, simply reply: "It's fairly technical. I'm not sure I could explain it in words you could understand. Please, stop crying and put that cream puff down."
In his book, "Sport Fans: The Psychology and Social Impact of Spectators," Daniel L. Wann, a psychology professor at Murray State University, studied and reviewed studies of sports fans.
He likes us. He really likes us.
Research (much of it done on college students) showed: 1) that sports fans are more likely to be athletic than nonsports fans; 2) that sports fans are smarter than nonsports fans; 3) that sports fans had higher self-esteem and suffered from depression less than nonsports fans; 4) that sports had a positive or at least neutral effect in marriages; and, 5) that sports fans are no more prone to violence than nonsports fans.
Sports fans are not obese, anti-social couch potatoes screaming at their television sets. They are not simpletons divorcing themselves from real world concerns to obsess over jersey color.
They just like sports.
"... For the most part, whether their team wins or loses, sports fans are more psychologically healthy than those who don't follow sports," Wann told WebMD. "Because in the long run, it's not really the performance that matters, it's the connection to the team."
I couldn't get in touch with Wann Monday afternoon -- maybe he's a Patriots' fan? -- but it's almost better that his comments were culled from WebMD, a highly respected health care site.
Why? Because he was interviewed by longtime health and medical writer Sid Kirchheimer, not a sportswriter, before Super Bowl XXXIX.
The title of that story is, "Why the Super Bowl Matters," and it concluded, "On Super Bowl Sunday, one team will claim victory and the other defeat. But psychologically, many of their fans will wind up winning -- no matter the score."
In other words, sports are good for you. Like broccoli.
Now this doesn't mean sports fans who had an actual stake in Super Bowl XLII won't exhibit some peculiar and even worrisome behavior over the next few days.
To analyze this, we turn to Social Identity Theory and to processes know as BIRGing and CORFing.
Giants fans don't figure to stop BIRGing (Basking In Reflected Glory) until the 2008 season begins. In sports, BIRGing is when fans, often dressed head-to-toe in team apparel, act as though they are actually a part of the team and that the success of their team should somehow, perhaps through osmosis, imbue them with higher status.
BIRGing can be fairly annoying for folks who don't share the BIRGer's team affiliation, but that's often a BIRGer's prime directive.
Many Patriots fans, conversely, will be engaged in varying degrees of CORFing (Cutting Off Reflected Failures) until Tom Brady and company get off the canvas and start winning again. Fans who CORF will deal with their disappointment by distancing themselves from their losing team.
They'll act like they've moved on. They spout trite aphorisms, "Hey, it's only a game!" They take up knitting with a zeal never seen before.
But, of course, when the lights go off and they are alone, they'll enact their own version of Edvard Munch's "The Scream." Over and over again.
When you grin, imaging that scene of a Patriots fan's pain, it's known as "Schadenfreude": enjoying another's misfortune. That reaction typically couldn't be more reprehensible, but early this fall a burning bush appeared before a guy in Topeka, Kan., and announced that Schadenfreude was OK if -- and only if -- it applied to Boston-area sports fans. And Paris Hilton.
While BIRGing and CORFing are sometimes applied to a syndrome known as "fair-weather fandom," nearly every fan engages in one or the other to some degree throughout a season.
It's also important to note that a wily neutral observer can find much enjoyment watching rival fans, forced together by circumstance, engage in BIRGing and CORFing after a game.
This would be a good week, in fact, to invite all your friends who are Giants and Patriots fans out for a drink (or two) together and stir the pot.
There would be plenty of amusing and profane BIRGing and CORFing, but all involved parties could rest easy knowing that they were the chosen.
(Cue angelic chorus).
They are sports fans.
To see more of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, for online features, or to subscribe, go to http://seattlep-I.com.
??? 1998-2007 Seattle Post-Intelligencer. All Rights Reserved.