For the few of you who still do not know, I'm here to tell you the world is ending on Friday. Good thing, too.
Because of this news, I have done no Christmas shopping. I figured, wisely I hope, that if the world is ending this weekend -- because of some Mayan calendar that says 12-21-12 does not bode well for the future -- why shop?
Why should I go through the hassle of fighting the mall crowds, spend a lot of money, wrap presents and put them under the tree, only to have the presents and the tree evaporate in some kind of end-of-the-world catastrophe? (For some reason, I did put up a tree. Obviously I wasn't thinking this through.)
This plan works, of course, only if the world does end Friday, and I am told by my nephew, Ben, who enjoys a good conspiracy theory, that it will. That's why he is already at his grandmother's house, where he evidently wants to be when the ball drops, or whatever it is that happens when the world ends. I don't know, having never been through an end-of-the-world experience. Yet.
We have decided not to go to my mom's until Saturday, again for logical reasons. Why endure an eight-hour car trip early, with the dog barking in the back seat no less, if the world is going to end the day before you are scheduled to leave? Makes no sense, especially with the price of gas being what it is.
Yes, yes, I'm aware of the fact that the world was supposed to end a couple of times a couple of years ago, but those warnings came from that man in the Bay Area who has been crying wolf for years now.
I have dozens of friends out there, and I love them dearly, but I'm not sure I'd follow any of them to the end.
Now, Mayans are different. I figure that if they could build a civilization with those magnificent pyramids the way they did, they should know when the end is near.
But just in case they and Ben are tragically wrong here, merry Christmas to you all. I'll make up for it next year. Promise.
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