The line between being a caring and involved parent and a hovering "helicopter" parent is getting even murkier. New research says helicopter parenting isn't just part of the parenting vernacular, it's a distinct form of parenting that can have positive effects for adult children, but some negatives as well.
So what's a parent to do? Are parents too pushy or their adult children just too needy? Research suggests that the big difference is between helping young adults and taking over their decisions.
For ages 18-29, research online now and slated for the October issue of the Journal of Adolescence finds "helicopter parenting appears to be inappropriately intrusive and managing, but done out of strong parental concern for the well-being and success of the child." Researchers at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, say the "high involvement, low autonomy granting and presence of emotional support in the relationship" reflects "a uniquely distinguishable" parenting approach.
"They're involved in their children's lives -- just not appropriately," says lead author Laura Padilla-Walker, professor of human development. "They don't value having their children make their own decisions."
The study was based on data collected from 438 undergraduates at four universities around the country and at least one of their parents (376 mothers and 303 fathers). It found that students whose parents were closer to the helicoptering type were less engaged in school.
"They may already be less engaged in school, so the parent is stepping in to try to help, or it could be parents have hovered so long that the child is not taking their own initiative," Padilla-Walker says. "I don't want parents to get the message not to be involved in their children's lives at this age. They are very much needed. The key is, is it joint decision-making, or is it the parent doing it?"
A broader study of 592 adults, largely ages 18-33, and 399 parents found much more positive effects from what researchers termed "intense support." The study, published in August in the Journal of Marriage and Family, shows that adult kids reported better psychological adjustment than those who didn't have intense support -- financial, advice and emotional.
Unlike most studies about this topic that focus on current college students or the college-educated, two-thirds of the adult kids were from a non-college population, showing that helicopter parents aren't just among the well-educated.
The only negative these researchers found was among parents who perceived their adult kids needed too much support -- the parents had poorer life satisfaction.
"It's only bad when parents perceive it as being too much," says lead author Karen Fingerman, a professor of human development and family sciences at the University of Texas in Austin. But more negatives were uncovered in a study published last year in the journal Social Spectrum. Young people whose parents hovered too much reported significantly lower psychological well-being, used more medication for anxiety and depression and abused pain pills.
"As scores went up on our helicopter parenting scale, overall psychological well-being went down," says co-author Tom Buchanan, associate professor of sociology at Mount Royal University in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He says the research on 317 college students when he was at the University of Tennessee in Chattanooga also found this distinct form of parenting suggested in the Brigham Young study.
"It's kind of its own animal," he says. "You have a lot of engagement, but you're not fostering independence. You are engaged with your kids, but deciding for them certain issues."
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