Ending the dysfunctional relationship

We've all had them, those relationships that didn't quite work out as expected.

I just ended one and I share my saga as a cautionary tale, because although you're similar to me, you're probably not inclined to air your dirty laundry in the newspaper. Therefore, I shall throw myself on the sword for all of us - for every person facing weight issues who has developed an unnatural attraction to his bathroom scale. Oh sure, we've tried to kick the habit, but every time, we gained weight.

Speaking for myself, I think I got too involved too quickly. I couldn't handle being alone. I'd check my weight first thing in the morning and as the last activity before retiring at night. I'd monitor myself before and after every meal and each time I visited the restroom.

I began to feel like there should be a support group for those of us excessively and overly fixated with the number attached to our weight.

"Hi, my name is Scott. I'm a bathroom scale addict."

(Group response): "Hello Scott."

Not meaning to make too much light of a serious situation, but there were times when it seemed like I couldn't go for hours, let alone days, without rushing to see my lovely placed patiently on the bathroom floor, gently flicking the on-switch with my foot, hopping lightly on to the flat white platform, and awaiting the calming rush (or abject depression) of what the flashing red LED screen would proclaim.

To be even closer, I envisioned a device whereby one could insert special plates into the soles of his shoes, so with each footfall his weight would be calculated. Then, similar to those electronic stock tickers that crawl across the bottom of the TV screen, a series of numbers telling you your up-to-the-moment, right-at-that-second weight would parade across your field of view in specially made goggles connected via Bluetooth to your shoes. Therefore, with each step, you have an instant standing on whether your weight was up, down, or holding. Like some sort of crazed day-trader, you could make split-second decisions on how to adjust what you're doing to maximize your dieting return.

Can we say, "Unhealthy obsession?"

OK, I wasn't that severe; but I was trending.

I was discussing how despondent my relationship was making me, after an unfortunate event when it had foretold of a heavy and tragic weight gain. Yet upon standing on the "official" scale at my weekly meeting, I was bowled over to find out I had in reality lost two pounds! My scale, my beloved, had betrayed me. I felt so used, so abandoned, so confused.

My buddy chimed in, "Why don't you just stay away from that scale? It seems to be a harmful relationship."

Just stay off the scale, leave it alone, shut the emotional door behind, and walk into the distance? What a concept. Skip all the fussing and frustrations associated with the ups and downs of my daily weight and lead a normal healthy life? Could that be possible? Can I do it?

So, I mustered up my courage, took a deep breath, and bid adieu to our past. I know it wasn't about her, it was more about me, but our goals were no longer compatible. It was time to end it.

I still think back fondly to those twenty-seven-times-a-day rendezvous on the tile floor, but I know I'm better off alone. I don't need a relationship that's quite so heavy any longer.