The Positive Side of Being Sick

Not all is rosy in the realm of the solo entrepreneur. When something goes awry, whatever buck I should be inclined to pass has nowhere to land except at my desk. Should the office bathroom need cleaning, I cannot delegate that obligation to lower-ranking staff, for the only other being sharing my workspace is an orange cat; and he has - on countless occasions - refused to help even when coerced with copious amounts of tuna fish. An additional disadvantage of solo entrepreneurship is that I cannot "call in sick" nor - when the weather is particularly beautiful - "play hookie" from work.

One can only imagine such a conversation:

Picking up my home phone, I could dial my cell; and upon my answering, I would say (with affected raspy voice), "Hi Scott , I can't make it to work today. I'm not feeling well."

"Oh," I would reply with much concern for my best employee, "What's do you have?"

Caught off-guard, I fill time with a few wheezes and timely coughing fits, then, after getting my bearings, "You know... that thing that's going around."

"Wow! That's tough! My cousin had that thing. So did his wife. Then their whole family got it. It lasted a month; take whatever time you need."

"Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow."

"Just take care of myself," I would say to me. Then since no one would be coming to work, I would be forced to take the day off and go to the movies or beach.

(Incidentally, if you do work with others and are looking to have a "play day," and have a low ethical bar, the "I've-got-that-thing-that's-going-around" excuse always succeeds. At any time, there is "some thing" "going around" and everyone knows it, even if not a soul can label it. Upon uttering those words, all nod in understanding, step back three feet, and ask you to cover your mouth when you cough; wishing for you a speedy recovery.)

I do not wish to make light of illness; however, if pressed to be honest, any respectable dieter can find some positives when it comes to certain conditions; such as stomach flu. After all, if I must endure three retching days of stomach cramps, indigestion, and other bodily indignities, at least I get a substantial weight loss for the efforts. For the true dieting officinato, any sacrifice must be paid for lower numbers on the scale.

As illustration, one of the regular attendees at my meeting arrived for her weigh-in. Normally a dynamic woman, she appeared frail, pail, and weak; and was assisted on to the scale by her husband.

"Are you OK?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied, "I just turned 50 so I had my colonoscopy. They just released me and I'm a little woozy. Since I'm on my way home, I thought I would weigh in."

"Good for you for taking care of yourself. But, you know, you can weigh next week. You look drained."

"Next week?" She asked, "Are you kidding? Right now, I'm completely empty; can you think of a better time to see what I weigh?"