Had a Bad Therapy Experience? Comments

I found therapy harmful in general. A group therapist was particularly brutal, belittling me in attempt to keep me in treatment. (I lost my grievance when he depicted me as unable to distinguish reality from, ahem, "transference.") But in general I found therapy encouraged my dependence, over-idealization and self-pity rather than helping me become a better functioning, problem-solving adult.

the therapist my ex and I were seeing for marriage counseling (he was counseling my ex first btw) allowed my ex to conceal his ongoing extramarital affair. When I discovered the affair it was a double betrayal and now I am struggling with my extreme mistrust of therapy at a time when i know I could use it most. almost 2 years later I am now thinking of filing a complaint against him for unethical behavior. He really harmed me at a time when I was desperate and depending on him to help me save my marriage.

My ex-therapist had a great level of anxiety. Couldn't watch the news as it was too disturbing for her. Thought I should have an easy time finding a boyfriend since I'm a minority and exotic women are "in" right now. She also fell asleep during a session and was low on energy at other sessions. Spent time telling me about her male friends during my session. I can't believe I wasted my time and money

I'm in the process of going thru a nasty custody battle with my ex. We were court ordered to go thru counseling. We even had a child-family investigator. She specifically stated that my ex and I had to find/interview a therapist then start the sessions with our children. Well, my ex found a therapist, interviewed him then started taking my children there. This was behind my back. I advised the CFI of this and the sessions were immediately stopped. We found another therapist, interviewed her and my ex started taking the kids to the sessions. All of a sudden I received a letter from that therapist stating my ex terminated her services. I was very irritated. So back to the interviewing process AGAIN. My ex found another therapist, sent me an email and stated I had 7 days to meet with her because the kids were starting their sessions. Well, I couldn't meet with her. My work schedule got crazy and I didn't get around to interviewing her. That was my fault. Well, 3 months had gone by and my ex sent me a bill. I didn't know the kids had been seeing her for 3 months. I called the therapist and set up an appointment to meet with her. It was the worst experience of my life. Basically she sent a letter to the courts stating I refused to participate in my kids sessions. I was very upset. She told me that the kids don't want to be with me and various other things. I could not believe a professional would only take one side of the story. This is a very ugly case and my kids are being brainwashed by their dad. She ended up writing a letter to the courts stating that I should have restricted visits with my children. This was based on the conversations she had with my kids. She never called me. Never met with me. I was appalled that she could write such a letter without even hearing my side of the story. So basically she said that she will start seeing me than after the sessions she will retrack that letter if necessary. I felt that she already had a idea of what kind of parent I am. I felt like I had to provide as much documentation I could to plead my case. She said my ex told her I cancelled the sessions with the previous therapist. Well, I provided a letter stating it was him. I even provided my journal stating that the kids are not miserable when they are with me. Well, I went thru 3 sessions...basically the mental health evaluations. I asked when we were going to start having these sessions with the kids? She said after the evaluations and a session with my ex. That was strange. None of the other therapists made us go thru all this. So, today, I had a meeting with the therapist and my ex. Obviously it didn't go well. My ex and I are very ugly to eachother. The therapist wouldn't even let me ask my ex questions. I said, "I've been accused of lots of things from him, why can't we clear the air." She said I was attacking my ex therefore, she will no longer work with me. Isn't this unfair?? As a professional, she's only willing to hear his side of the story. She allowed my ex and kids trash talk me for months and I couldn't defend myself. I thought that's why we were meeting, to clear the air. I feel this therapist is only concerned with the paycheck and not the best interest of my kids. Meanwhile she's willing to see my ex and kids but not me. I don't believe that's ethical to not allow me to participate in the sessions. Afterall it's me the kids hate right now. How can I report her? Is there a website I can file a formal complaint?

I did tell my psychiatrist about this so-called therapist's unprofessional behavior and the psychiatrist's response was "well, it is he said, she said". I was distraught and crying and I have a history of bi-polar disorder and this psychiatrist did nothing but tell me I needed therapy to process my experience with the therapist. I went to another therapist and only got worse. I continued to get worse and called the psychiatrist and asked him to adjust my meds and he wouldn't do it. I continued to get increasingly worse as a result of the crisis I was put in do to the therapist's unprofessional behavior toward me and my psychiatrist did nothing, until 3 weeks later when I called him and told him I was is so much emotional pain I could not stand it any longer and that my moods were all over the place. He then just told me to go to the Psychiatric ER and let them medicate me. This psychiatrist let me suffer terrible and I wish I had never told him about my negative experiences with the therapist. I did end up taking myself to the Psych. ER where I spent 6 days getting stablized on medication for a bi-polar episode which ensued as a result of the therapist's unethical, unprofessional behavior and the resulting negligence and lack of support from the psychiatrist. I wish I never had to see another another mental health professional, ever, however, since I am bi-polar I am stuck in a system where the patients are victimized over and over again. I am finding it very hard to trust any mental health professional and to believe that they have my well being as their priority. Any insights, info into my situation is appreciated.

I can't even imagine this type of behavior and I'm sorry you experienced this. There are so many red flags in what you described and this goes to show that just because someone has a license doesn't mean they will be ethical, responsible people. I hope that you reported this person to the state licensing board. And - I hope that you told the psychiatrist who referred you to this person as well.

I was seeing a therapist for complex PTSD when approx. 6 months into the sessions he was going on a long vacation (3 weeks). He thought I needed someone to talk to in my life while he was gone as I am so isolated and he gave out my phone number to another of his patients for her to call me while he was away. This other patient proceeded to call me 6-7 days per day and was driving me crazy. When he returned I told him about this and he apologized and apologized and I decided to give him a second chance as he seemed so sincere in his apologies and I didn't want the stress of starting over with someone new. I write poetry and when I would bring in my poetry he would proceed at times to rewrite it or tell me how it should be written differently and I overlooked it. One time I was discussing what music I loved and he proceeded to tell me that he knew good music and it wasn't the type I listened to - I overlooked that also. Then a week ago he made a derogatory comment about my looks. When I told him that I felt that the comment was not professional and that his comment brought up alot of verbal abuse that I had experienced as a child about my looks he just laughed and tried to say it was because I was so word concious from being a poet that he needed to be more careful with the words that used around me. I told him that no one likes their appearance or person to be negatively commented on and that by doing so he aggravated my PTSD. He said he forgot that I had been verbally abused repeatedly as a child for my looks. The next time I saw him I told him I would refresh his memory and began repeating the verbal use that I suffered as a child when I started to cry and he blurted out "don't you remember what happened to you when you were 19 yrs" and he repeated that statement over again. I immemdiately went into shock as this incident that he brought up was the second most traumatic event in my life and when I left his office I felt like a ton of bricks hit me and I began to feel real bad about myself. Then I started to get angry that he brought that incident up in my session when I was already upset and crying. I called him right away and told him that I didn't appreciate him bringing that incident up that it would have been different if I had brought it up in MY session but not for him to bring it up when I was already upset and crying. He said he wanted to prove to me that he could remember alot about my past since I accused him of not remembering that I had been verbally abused over and over as a child. He was the one that said he didn't remember my verbal abuse and used that as an excuse for negatively commenting on my looks not me. I had told him I would refresh his memory even though it was painful for me and I started crying which was when he brought up the other traumatic event from my past. He also told me that I needed to "fill my mind with good things in my life, but that I didn't have any good things to fill it with". I am an only child and both parents are deceased. After he said that to me I began feeling really bad about myself and was having nightmares. I called him and told him that I was stopping the sessions that I needed a break and he wouldn't take no for an answer and insisted that I keep my next week's appointment. I called him again and left a message and told him that my sessions were more about how he thinks and feels than about how I think and feel and I told him that was terminating the sessions until further notice and I just walked away. I am beating myself up because I didn't terminate the relationship with him after he gave my phone number out to another patient and that I gave him a second chance. I am at the point since this therapy encounter of being terribly afraid of any and all therapists. This therapist was highly referred to me by my psychiatrist and I am at the point that I have lost all trust in the mental health profession.

I wanted to comment here on the comment by "lost_marky" regarding feeling so terrible about a breach in confidentiality. He should report this therapist to the local governing board. We as therapists are supposed to uphold certain ethical and legal responsibilities and certainly not "do harm" if we can avoid it. Clearly, you feel hurt by this experience - and I can understand why. At the very least, the therapist should work to squeeze in a termination session. This doesn't sound right.

I am currently suffering from a bad therapy experience. I am severely depressed, and in desperation I spoke to other therapists to see if I could find help somewhere since I was stuck with my current therapy. I was honest to the other therapists about who I was seeing, and that things were not working. I suspect that one of them called, and I soon found the therapist difficult, embarassing and humiliating me. After being humilated after the last session by the therapist discussing some very confidential things in public, I canceled my appointments. I was told by my psychiatrist that I should schedule a termination appt., but my ex-therapist's schedule is booked for three months. The whole series of events has made me more depressed than ever. All of this was caused by trying to get help. I feel like shit.

I loved my therapist and she cared too I know that. She broke boundaries because she cared and the therapy slowly began to self destruct. she told me to call her any time and mentioned it a few times until i did. i liked it a lot. She terminated abruptly and I have been mourning her...she was like a mom...the transference was intense and i can't live without her....i want to talk to her but she won;t allow it. help me..please