Feb. 23--Nestled in her mother's lap, Rio Schweber helps turn the pages of a small children's book, her eyes taking in the images.
"What's that?" her mother, Kim, asks, while sitting on a couch in their North Stamford home.
"A puzzle," Rio says.
Soon, there are an apple, a truck and a bunny, all easily identified by the 2 1/2 -year-old. Not only is it a way to work on her daughter's vocabulary, but the book, titled "It's Time to Start Using Your Words," also encourages children to express their feelings and needs verbally, using phrases such as "thank you," and "please," rather than resorting to outbursts and crying or nonverbal communication.
It is one of several books penned by Norwalk child psychologist Lawrence Shapiro, who recently launched a retooled Web site, ParentChild411.com, aimed at providing literature, toys, products and other services to parents, caregivers and professionals. The products cover hygiene issues to behavioral development and many subjects in between.
The site complements the small store that opened 18 months ago at his offices at 4 Berkeley St. in Norwalk.
"Play and fun are the language of children," says Shapiro, who has spent his career helping children with their emotional development through play. "It is amazing what kids will do in the context of a game that they wouldn't normally do."
He is the author of more than 24 books, including "How to Raise a Child with High EQ: A Parents' Guide To Emotional
Intelligence." He also has created more than 70 therapeutic games that are used by mental health professionals. He has been in Norwalk for 12 years.
"It's Time to Start Using Your Words," other publications and games are among the products Schweber has purchased from the Web site. A former elementary school teacher, the 40-year-old says using games and play time is a good way to stimulate conversation with all three of her children. She also has purchased thumb guards and other products to wean one of her children from sucking her thumb.
"I use the emotional cubes with my older children," she says. The squishy, oversized toys depict images of children displaying various emotions. She also uses dinnertime play cards that are meant to spur communication.
"I'll ask them what the best part of their day was, and what the worst part of the day was," she says. "You really get some interesting answers."
Shapiro groups the products by categories such as emotional issues, social development and teen self-help. He hopes he can make the search efficient for parents who are strapped for time. He also has products that correspond to developmental disorders, such as autism and learning difficulties. Beyond the items for sale, Shapiro provides free resources, tips and downloads.
Users of the site also can link to local and area professionals and organizations that deal with parenting and childcare issues.
Over his more than 20-year career Shapiro has worked to give parents tools to solve what can be some of the thornier issues of raising a child, such as toilet training, addressing fears and worries, adjusting to a new home or sibling, and dealing with loss. His aim is to provide resources that encourage growth through positive encouragement and build children's emotional intelligence.
"Parents know to pay attention to reading, writing and arithmetic, but building emotional, behavioral and social competencies is a skill as well," he says. "Making friends, dealing with parents, playing fair, developing a sense of humor, developing morals and empathy, parents need to teach these skills."
In the end, he says the most important part of the lesson is building a parent-child relationship, but it can be made easier and more enriching by using tools that encourage children to express what they are feeling.
"We have a perception that kids don't feel stress, but of course they do," he says. With today's economic uncertainty, he says children pick up on the worry parents are feeling.
"In so many families, someone has lost a job," he says. "And even if they may not be talking about it, anxiety is contagious. The parents are worried, so the kids become worried."
He says young people may not even know what they are experiencing, making it difficult for them to talk to their parents. Instead, stress can manifest itself in stomachaches and other physical and emotional responses. He says parents may need help to coax their children into talking about their worries.
"Stress is a magnifier," he says, noting that children with existing fears and worries are going to have a worse reaction. "What I want parents to know is that there are ways you can protect your child and inoculate your child against stress."
Schweber sees great benefit in play time, a time where discoveries are made and lessons can be learned.
"It simulates conversation, and it can strengthen academic development," she says. "And, I think they get to see all of your different personas. I can be strict, but during play they get to see my fun side."
-- Staff Writer Christina Hennessy can be reached at christina.hennessy@scni.com or 964-2241.
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